BLIIII: Exeunt, being my (probable) last BLIIII ReportAugust 18 2006 at 12:25 AM |
Adam Wolkoff
(Premier Login awolkoff) Forum Owner |
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| By now
the dust has settled on ButtLite IIII. The riders are either back in the
real world at home, or starting conversations with “And this is no
bullshit…” at the Ironbutt Convention in Denver. That’s my cue to
sit down and write this last rally report. It is difficult to try to sum up the event in any kind of cogent fashion. There are too many stories to tell (and some, to be sure, I’m glad I haven’t heard), and some things the folks back home Just Wouldn’t Understand. Unless you’ve been there, it’s hard to understand the emotional highs and lows whipsawing your brain for a week on the road. Riders in this event witnessed events of high drama, low humor and base depravity that few in this country can match. For the Worlds’ Toughest Riders, the longest distance on the rally is the space between each entrant’s ears. At its most basic element, the Buttlite—like any multi-day endurance rally—is a mental game first and foremost. Mental toughness trumps every other variable without exception. Of course, neither is reading comprehension a skill to take lightly. Just ask Curt Gran. In Atlanta, Curt thought he’d figured out the key to the rally: Waffle House. Curt left Atlanta under the impression that every Waffle House receipt he brought to the scoring table in Nebraska would bring him closer to victory, so he stopped at every Waffle House he could find—45 of them to be exact. Curt was trying not to gloat as he stepped to the scoring table. After we quit laughing, we read him the bonus: only one receipt was needed, and additional receipts got you nothing for your troubles. We figure the 19,000+ points Curt was docked by our scorer is the most points ever left on the scoring table in TeamStrange history. Mr. Gran, you are now a legend in your own time. People skills can also be of help during a rally. While preparing to snap his photo of Superman, Victor Wanchena encountered a local gal well into her cups. After Victor explained what he was doing in Metropolis, this friendly female caught a glimpse of his rally flag. “Once she saw number 69 on there, she begged for the chance to hold my flag,” Wanchena stated. In an effort to add artistic merit to the shot, Victor’s new friend held the flag in one hand while she extended her other arm high above her head, reaching in vain for the Man of Steel’s private parts. It’s true: you meet the most helpful folks out on the road. Of course, ButtLite IIII was an endurance event. Example: Peter Behm. Peter was the only rider to attempt the trip to the Bonneville Salt Flats, and I am pleased to report that he made the finish on time. This bonus—much like the ride to Waco, Texas that suckered me in my last MN1K—was a classic Eddie James sucker bonus. If you were going to Bonneville, there was no way you had time to score much of anything else. If you tried, you’d likely end up time barred in Niobrara. I’m convinced Behm knew (or at least suspected) these facts before leaving Atlanta but in the end, elected to make the trip west anyways. Why? The photo of Peter, grinning widely as he stands next to Bob Waitz and the Salt to Salt Racing Team trailer, complete with “Blame Eddie” graffiti, perfectly answers the why question: For the ride, of course. All 9,224 miles of it. I am also very pleased that we can still snooker Eric Jewell, Rick Snyder, Mike Phelps and Howard Stueber into entering the event. I am honored that riders of this caliber would choose to run every ButtLite rally ever conducted. Too, it is always a pleasure to welcome new riders to the event. Time after time, I received compliments from volunteers, bonus workers and townspeople on the quality of the people who chose to run this event. Thank you all for representing your sport in such an excellent way. The event is now over, and many questions have been answered. Team Newbie can too ride together successfully. John Coons can too run strong in a multi-day event. Paperwork snafus and bonus errors can too have disastrous consequences, even for riders at the top of the standings. History can too repeat itself. Let’s look at that last one in a bit more detail. When we first conceived the ButtLite in the fall of 1997, Eddie and I envisioned the rally as first and foremost a training ground for the Ironbutt. We wanted to give riders a rigorous introduction to the skills that we thought were critical for success on the 11 day, 11,000 mile Event Of Them All. This meant providing tough routing choices and giving no quarter at the scoring table. In short, we wanted to create an Ironbutt Boor Camp. It gives me great pleasure to think that we have, at least to some degree, succeeded in our efforts. Don’t believe me? Pop over to the IBA website and look at the success ButtLite finishers have enjoyed on the IBR. I hope that next year we will see another name added to the list of ButtLite vets who have successfully campaigned in the IBR. I have every reason to believe that will be the case. Alexander Schmitt ran an extremely meticulous rally. I don’t believe he left a single point on the scoring table. Schmitt, an auto mechanic by trade, also lacks the overlarge ego that so hampers many successful LD Riders. Of course, the man can also ride. Anyone who can beat Rick Miller (perhaps the most efficient rider in terms of points per mile that I have ever met) by over 2000 points can clearly ride. For these reasons, I am extremely pleased to congratulate Alex on his amazing and well-deserved first place finish. I have every reason to believe that you will be seeing this man’s name again, and soon. Says me, ASW 17 August 2006 |
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