BLIIII:
Time Barred!
August 11 2006 at 12:41 AM |
Adam Wolkoff |
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For the
first time in TeamStrange history, today a Rallymaster was time barred at
a ButtLite checkpoint. If you’re looking for me in Tombstone, don’t
bother. I won’t be there. Of course there’s a reason—there’s
always a reason—but in the ButtLite we don’t do excuses.
At least I was busy during my time away from the group. We provide our
riders with a telephone number that can be used to reach a rally official
(e.g., me) any time of the day or night. Thanks to Bubba Kolb’s antics
on the last ButtLite (“You bastards,” he’d growl into the phone,
“Ah hate yew…”), this time around wehoped to limit use of the number
to emergencies. I should have known this was a doomed effort, because what
constitutes an emergency to a competitive, Type-A, sleep deprived rider
almost never meets the dictionary definition of the term.
Many of the phone calls fell into the “I have a question about a
bonus” category. Obviously, I couldn’t give any assistance here,
particularly since every rider is informed in writing that the time to ask
questions about bonuses is before leaving the checkpoint. All I could do
was repeat what was said at our riders’ meeting: if you read and
carefully follow the instructions on the bonus list and answer sheet,
you’ll get the points. Mark Koch didn’t like this advice when he
called me wondering how to successfully complete a bonus that required him
to ride a specified portion of road. He claimed he’d read the sheet
already and it was just plain wrong. I didn’t believe that for a moment.
These route sheets had been proofed by Ironbutt legend Dave McQueeney, and
I knew they were good. “Read it to me out loud—slowly—right now,”
I told him. He complied, at first peeved, and then embarrassed as reading
slowly rejoined comprehension. “I’m ready to go,” he said, “now
that my head’s out of my ass.”
If I have to miss the checkpoint, at least I’m in the best of company. I
first heard from Richard Buber only hours after the rally started. Buber
takes pride in riding a 1978 Goldwing, whose name badge has been corrected
to read “Old Wing.” There are no fancy GPS units, laptops or satellite
radio receivers in Richard’s kit. He’s not about flash, he just rides.
Proof? Last time around, Richard was the first TeamStrange rider into
Mexico. Sadly for Buber BLIIII was not to be, as the Old Wing blew a head
gasket before reaching the Nebraska border. Undeterred, Richard limped the
bike back to Niobrara, where since Tuesday morning he has been repairing
it out back behind the Two Rivers. Half the town has stopped by to observe
and/or help the proceedings, and by this evening the Old Wing was just
about ready for the road. Richard was philosophical about this
unanticipated turn of events. “The two things I like best in life are
riding and working on motorcycles. I’ve done plenty of both in the past
few days.” Buber is a real rider in the best sense of that term, and we
hope to see him at the next checkpoint on Sunday.
As this is being written, all remaining riders have arrived at the
checkpoint and are in the process of being scored. There are always good
stories that come out in the scoring line. This time, weather was a topic
of frequent conversation.
You may remember that at the start of the rally, weeks of Nebraska drought
were shattered by an intense rainstorm that arrived just as riders were
checking in. As riders were leaving, I announced to the crowd that heavy
rains were predicted for southern Arizona. Everyone laughed. They’re not
laughing now. Many riders have experienced what the long-range forecast
told me days ago: flash flooding in the Tombstone area. The rain and
resulting floods have been so severe that many Tombstone residents have
been evacuated from their homes and are now staying at the same hotel
housing every remaining rider on the event.
The deluge has affected bonus hunting as well. Howie Stueber and Victor
Wanchena reported water crossings two feet deep near Portal Road. While
that’s not high enough to tickle Doc’s fuzz, it would certainly make
things interesting on a motorcycle. Fergus Hand made four attempts to
cross running water while hunting for the Fray Marcos De Niza Monument
near Lochiel, Arizona. His multiple meanderings in the middle of nowhere
eventually attracted the attention of the border patrol, which deployed
one of its famous black helicopters to give him the once over. Many of the
bonuses on this leg of the rally could only be accessed via local (read:
dirt) roads. Some enterprising soul could have really cleaned up with an
“I Hate Eddie” tee shirt concession at the checkpoint.
John Coons had an interesting ride, and met some new friends along the way
to boot. Coons elected to get to Gerlach on an overland route via Denio.
By “overland,” I mean via a miserable goat path that eats motorcycles
alive. When Coons limped into Gerlach, his fuel cell mounts were
disintegrated and his exhaust cracked and hanging by a thread. So what did
he do? The same thing that anyone who rides a motorcycle does when they
get to Gerlach—he headed for Bruno’s.
As Coons worked to repair his wounded mount, he soon got to talking with
some other riders who were hanging around watching him work. It wasn’t
long before he figured out that he was talking to none other than George
Zelenz, Rallymaster of the Spank Rally, which is departing Gerlach on
Friday morning. Coons reportedly enjoyed meeting his west coast
colleagues, though he was kicking himself on the way out of town. “I
should have asked George for a Spank Rally T-shirt. I bet he’d have
given me one if I promised to wear it at the BLIIII closing banquet photo
session…I’ll do anything for a T-shirt.”
I’m certain riders on the Spank Rally will have to do more than ask to
earn their T-shirt. Any five-day endurance rally starting out of Gerlach
will present its participants with challenges never previously imagined.
The Spank Rally, of course, is not just “any rally,” and its riders
are in for a treat. The rider who sits down for Bruno’s famous ravioli
at the end of Spank can finish his meal knowing that every bite was well
earned. TeamStrange extends its best wishes to the Spank Rally riders,
Rallymaster and staff as they prepare to start their adventure.
Coons was able to fix his bike out on the course. Carrie Hanson was not so
lucky. Somewhere along the way, she began experiencing problems with her
starter button. She was able to get the bike running, but now can’t shut
it down for fear it won’t start if turned off. There were other
casualties. Larry Ensley’s Yamaha threw a chain, cracking the case and
sending his bike to a Las Vegas dealership on the back of a truck. When I
spoke to Larry this afternoon, he was ready to ship the bike home and
withdraw from the event. This was sad news, as it sounded like he had put
together a very solid run. Something must have led him to change his mind
(Master aluminum welder on premises? Perfect excuse to sneak a new bike
past the wife?) and late reports disclose he made it to the Tombstone
checkpoint well into the penalty window. Larry is not only a strong rider,
he’s a pleasure to be around and I’m glad he’s still in the hunt.
For some riders, disaster did not strike until the scoring table. Loyal
readers will know I have something of a reputation when it comes to
scoring, and it could be that some riders thought my absence would work in
their favor. Anyone holding such delusional thoughts was sorely
disappointed when they saw IBA man about town Ira Agins and noted hi-miler
Dave McQueeney waiting to review paperwork. Mike Senty was one of the
riders who learned Ira and Dave showed no quarter. TeamStrange rally rules
require that all issued paperwork be returned at the time the rider sits
down to be scored. Failure to turn in a complete set of paperwork will
result in zero points for the leg. Senty sat down at the scoring table
only to discover he was missing a page of his route sheet. “Not to
worry, I’ll grab it off the bike,” he said. “No you won’t,” said
the scorers. They knew, as Senty soon remembered, that once you sit at the
scoring table, your route sheet is deemed submitted for scoring and cannot
be changed, altered, added to or corrected. Senty left with zero points to
show for his ride to Tombstone. The good news here is that Mike will no
doubt provide me with plenty of future fodder as he claws his way back to
mid-pack. Senty was picked by more than one expert as someone to watch in
this event, and he now has something to prove.
As riders arrived at the checkpoint, they were given a key to a
rally-issued hotel room. This will give them a place to get out of the
rain—of course it’s raining again—as they catch up on sleep and plan
their route to the next checkpoint. Yes, we are having another checkpoint,
and yes, since the riders know where it is now I can tell you too. In his
spare time, BLIII veteran Bob Wooldridge runs BMW Motorcycles of Atlanta,
and he has forgotten enough of his experience with us on that rally to
offer up his dealership as the checkpoint location on the next leg. Full
location information is posted on the discussion board, and we’d love to
see some spectators stop by to cheer on the riders.
And what about me? I’ll be there, of course. Even though I’m time
barred at Tombstone I’m not out of the rally, and there are still points
to deny. I wonder if Atlanta is any cooler than Tombstone this time of
year? At least it can’t be any wetter.
ASW
8-10-2006 |
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