BLIIII: Time Barred!August 11 2006 at 12:41 AM |
Adam Wolkoff | |
|
|
||
| For the
first time in TeamStrange history, today a Rallymaster was time barred at
a ButtLite checkpoint. If you’re looking for me in Tombstone, don’t
bother. I won’t be there. Of course there’s a reason—there’s
always a reason—but in the ButtLite we don’t do excuses. At least I was busy during my time away from the group. We provide our riders with a telephone number that can be used to reach a rally official (e.g., me) any time of the day or night. Thanks to Bubba Kolb’s antics on the last ButtLite (“You bastards,” he’d growl into the phone, “Ah hate yew…”), this time around wehoped to limit use of the number to emergencies. I should have known this was a doomed effort, because what constitutes an emergency to a competitive, Type-A, sleep deprived rider almost never meets the dictionary definition of the term. Many of the phone calls fell into the “I have a question about a bonus” category. Obviously, I couldn’t give any assistance here, particularly since every rider is informed in writing that the time to ask questions about bonuses is before leaving the checkpoint. All I could do was repeat what was said at our riders’ meeting: if you read and carefully follow the instructions on the bonus list and answer sheet, you’ll get the points. Mark Koch didn’t like this advice when he called me wondering how to successfully complete a bonus that required him to ride a specified portion of road. He claimed he’d read the sheet already and it was just plain wrong. I didn’t believe that for a moment. These route sheets had been proofed by Ironbutt legend Dave McQueeney, and I knew they were good. “Read it to me out loud—slowly—right now,” I told him. He complied, at first peeved, and then embarrassed as reading slowly rejoined comprehension. “I’m ready to go,” he said, “now that my head’s out of my ass.” If I have to miss the checkpoint, at least I’m in the best of company. I first heard from Richard Buber only hours after the rally started. Buber takes pride in riding a 1978 Goldwing, whose name badge has been corrected to read “Old Wing.” There are no fancy GPS units, laptops or satellite radio receivers in Richard’s kit. He’s not about flash, he just rides. Proof? Last time around, Richard was the first TeamStrange rider into Mexico. Sadly for Buber BLIIII was not to be, as the Old Wing blew a head gasket before reaching the Nebraska border. Undeterred, Richard limped the bike back to Niobrara, where since Tuesday morning he has been repairing it out back behind the Two Rivers. Half the town has stopped by to observe and/or help the proceedings, and by this evening the Old Wing was just about ready for the road. Richard was philosophical about this unanticipated turn of events. “The two things I like best in life are riding and working on motorcycles. I’ve done plenty of both in the past few days.” Buber is a real rider in the best sense of that term, and we hope to see him at the next checkpoint on Sunday. As this is being written, all remaining riders have arrived at the checkpoint and are in the process of being scored. There are always good stories that come out in the scoring line. This time, weather was a topic of frequent conversation. You may remember that at the start of the rally, weeks of Nebraska drought were shattered by an intense rainstorm that arrived just as riders were checking in. As riders were leaving, I announced to the crowd that heavy rains were predicted for southern Arizona. Everyone laughed. They’re not laughing now. Many riders have experienced what the long-range forecast told me days ago: flash flooding in the Tombstone area. The rain and resulting floods have been so severe that many Tombstone residents have been evacuated from their homes and are now staying at the same hotel housing every remaining rider on the event. The deluge has affected bonus hunting as well. Howie Stueber and Victor Wanchena reported water crossings two feet deep near Portal Road. While that’s not high enough to tickle Doc’s fuzz, it would certainly make things interesting on a motorcycle. Fergus Hand made four attempts to cross running water while hunting for the Fray Marcos De Niza Monument near Lochiel, Arizona. His multiple meanderings in the middle of nowhere eventually attracted the attention of the border patrol, which deployed one of its famous black helicopters to give him the once over. Many of the bonuses on this leg of the rally could only be accessed via local (read: dirt) roads. Some enterprising soul could have really cleaned up with an “I Hate Eddie” tee shirt concession at the checkpoint. John Coons had an interesting ride, and met some new friends along the way to boot. Coons elected to get to Gerlach on an overland route via Denio. By “overland,” I mean via a miserable goat path that eats motorcycles alive. When Coons limped into Gerlach, his fuel cell mounts were disintegrated and his exhaust cracked and hanging by a thread. So what did he do? The same thing that anyone who rides a motorcycle does when they get to Gerlach—he headed for Bruno’s. As Coons worked to repair his wounded mount, he soon got to talking with some other riders who were hanging around watching him work. It wasn’t long before he figured out that he was talking to none other than George Zelenz, Rallymaster of the Spank Rally, which is departing Gerlach on Friday morning. Coons reportedly enjoyed meeting his west coast colleagues, though he was kicking himself on the way out of town. “I should have asked George for a Spank Rally T-shirt. I bet he’d have given me one if I promised to wear it at the BLIIII closing banquet photo session…I’ll do anything for a T-shirt.” I’m certain riders on the Spank Rally will have to do more than ask to earn their T-shirt. Any five-day endurance rally starting out of Gerlach will present its participants with challenges never previously imagined. The Spank Rally, of course, is not just “any rally,” and its riders are in for a treat. The rider who sits down for Bruno’s famous ravioli at the end of Spank can finish his meal knowing that every bite was well earned. TeamStrange extends its best wishes to the Spank Rally riders, Rallymaster and staff as they prepare to start their adventure. Coons was able to fix his bike out on the course. Carrie Hanson was not so lucky. Somewhere along the way, she began experiencing problems with her starter button. She was able to get the bike running, but now can’t shut it down for fear it won’t start if turned off. There were other casualties. Larry Ensley’s Yamaha threw a chain, cracking the case and sending his bike to a Las Vegas dealership on the back of a truck. When I spoke to Larry this afternoon, he was ready to ship the bike home and withdraw from the event. This was sad news, as it sounded like he had put together a very solid run. Something must have led him to change his mind (Master aluminum welder on premises? Perfect excuse to sneak a new bike past the wife?) and late reports disclose he made it to the Tombstone checkpoint well into the penalty window. Larry is not only a strong rider, he’s a pleasure to be around and I’m glad he’s still in the hunt. For some riders, disaster did not strike until the scoring table. Loyal readers will know I have something of a reputation when it comes to scoring, and it could be that some riders thought my absence would work in their favor. Anyone holding such delusional thoughts was sorely disappointed when they saw IBA man about town Ira Agins and noted hi-miler Dave McQueeney waiting to review paperwork. Mike Senty was one of the riders who learned Ira and Dave showed no quarter. TeamStrange rally rules require that all issued paperwork be returned at the time the rider sits down to be scored. Failure to turn in a complete set of paperwork will result in zero points for the leg. Senty sat down at the scoring table only to discover he was missing a page of his route sheet. “Not to worry, I’ll grab it off the bike,” he said. “No you won’t,” said the scorers. They knew, as Senty soon remembered, that once you sit at the scoring table, your route sheet is deemed submitted for scoring and cannot be changed, altered, added to or corrected. Senty left with zero points to show for his ride to Tombstone. The good news here is that Mike will no doubt provide me with plenty of future fodder as he claws his way back to mid-pack. Senty was picked by more than one expert as someone to watch in this event, and he now has something to prove. As riders arrived at the checkpoint, they were given a key to a rally-issued hotel room. This will give them a place to get out of the rain—of course it’s raining again—as they catch up on sleep and plan their route to the next checkpoint. Yes, we are having another checkpoint, and yes, since the riders know where it is now I can tell you too. In his spare time, BLIII veteran Bob Wooldridge runs BMW Motorcycles of Atlanta, and he has forgotten enough of his experience with us on that rally to offer up his dealership as the checkpoint location on the next leg. Full location information is posted on the discussion board, and we’d love to see some spectators stop by to cheer on the riders. And what about me? I’ll be there, of course. Even though I’m time barred at Tombstone I’m not out of the rally, and there are still points to deny. I wonder if Atlanta is any cooler than Tombstone this time of year? At least it can’t be any wetter. ASW 8-10-2006 |
||