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August 26: Speculation It's 2300 on the first day of the rally, and I've got a daily report to bang out. I've slept through only four of the last twenty four hours, but that's not a problem. We're used to getting less sleep than our riders. Fourteen of the last twenty four hours have been spent in the family friendly rally van, but that's not a problem. At least not any more, after a brief but explosive outburst by one of the vehicle's occupants resulted in a dramatic decrease in our stock of spare napkins, forks, food and beverage containers. The problem is that this is the most difficult daily report to create on the whole event. Why? Because we don't have the first clue about what the riders are up to. I can only guess, for example, the extent to which Mexico is on the minds of those riding the rally. To my knowledge, the 2002 ButtLite is the first pure endurance event to offer a bonus in Mexico. Even the Ironbutt has, to date, declined to offer riders the chance to bide a wee south of the border. I will personally be amazed to see even one rider show up with a gas receipt from Nuevo Laredo tomorrow afternoon. But if I were a rider on the event, I'd have to wonder how and when the other shoe will drop: will I "have" to go to Mexico to do well on the rally? This question is, of course, a red herring pure and simple. As Promise Breakers' Rallymaster Gus Breiland said at least thirty times at the recent Buckeye 1000 rally, all bonuses are optional. There are no mandatory bonuses on this rally, least of all in Mexico. Further, anyone having even a passing familiarity with our rallies knows that on Team Strange events, there is never only one "winning" route. The more likely thought running through the minds of LD purists riding the event is how to resist the challenge of breaking new rally ground in Mexico, points payoff aside. Anyone who tried for Prudhoe Bay on the last Ironbutt is likely familiar with this mind game. Another exercise in rank speculation is guessing who will or will not make Monticello. When playing this game, its easy to fall into the trap of judging by appearances. On BL2, Eddie and I were dead convinced Bill Davis would drop out of the event long before Baton Rouge. He proved us wrong in a huge and significant way. Spectators at the start, less wary of such guesswork, predicted early demise for Dave Nelson and his 1981 CB750F. Dave and his trusty Honda have covered more than a few miles together--and jointly killed at least one deer--and the bike is not the newest, shiniest entry in the field. Too, Dave had his share of problems even getting to the event. The original plan called for trailering the bike to the rally, but the tow vehicle gave up the ghost somewhere in Iowa. Dave rolled the Honda off the trailer and rode in to the start. I suppose with these events behind him, things can only get better for our Bambikiller. Paul Pelland did some speculating of his own at the start line. Before lighting out for parts unknown, Paul cackled "The Yamahas are this rally's hopeless class: the R1, the SR500, and Witte." I'd have to disagree here. The only thing on Paul's list that is even arguably unproven is the new FJR. Air Force Capt. Grady Dunham, Ironbutt and multiple MN1K veteran Jim Winterer, and LD veteran Todd Witte are all skilled, seasoned riders whose chances are about as far from hopeless as you can get. At least that's my guess. I'll leave it to you to guess why Pelland's bike had a big "just married" sign taped to the rear trunk. I will admit to scratching my head over Howard Stueber's bike. He calls it a K100, but that tells only part of the story. You may remember this bike from the BL5K. Its was originally the K100LT that Dan Stephans II was on when he had an unexpected encounter with a Dodge Dynasty outside of Booger Hollow. Eddie purchased the bike, rebuilt it, and subsequently sold it to Howard. Howie is an inveterate tinkerer, and he took it upon himself to improve on the basic BMW design. According to Stueber, the bike now sports a Buell Thunderbolt fairing, Harley Davidson Fat Bob fuel tanks mounted to the saddlebag brackets in lieu of a fuel cell, Ducati electrics, a headlight from an XS1100, and some miscellaneous FJ parts because, as Howard will tell you, "I like FJs." Its only slightly easier to figure out the bike of Howard's friend Keith Boettger. Keith borrowed Howard's old fuel cell to strap on the back of his R1100S. You don't need to guess where Keith found the cell. Howard is the only rider I know who has created a fuel cell out of a Harley Sportster tank. Keith is now working at Judson Cycle, a long time and well regarded BMW shop in Lake Crystal, Minnesota. I suppose that Keith's employer can judge the small, temporary addition of American Iron to the R bike as a gesture of patriotism next to the wholesale treason of Howard's "BMW." At this point, the questions are unending. Who was the Harley rider we encountered in Oklahoma and where was he going? What was that disconcerting noise coming from Mike Etlicher's ST1100? How many riders will stop by to say farewell to Rayder and Kim Swanson as they prepare to sell the fabled Two Rivers Saloon in Niobrara, Nebraska? Did anyone pay their respects at Elmore James' grave in Ebenezer, Mississippi? Will someone confirm that Hell is "Hot, Hot, Hot" by visiting Cross Garden in Prattville, Alabama? Most important of all, will at least one rider saunter up to the scoring table bearing booty from Precious Moments? Beats me. Find out here, tomorrow. |
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