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August 28, 2002: Life Lessons The other day my daughter Vivian expressed her displeasure with being told what to do by telling me, "My brain tells me what to do, daddy, not you." I agreed with her--she was right, of course--but felt it necessary to point out that she would nonetheless bear the consequences if her brain gave her bad advice. This is what the parenting books call a "life lesson." Leg two offers what will likely become a similar lesson to ButtLite riders who are, for whatever reason, disinclined to give the routesheets careful perusal. Like the statue of Little Timmy on BL5K and the Hot Coffee mug on BL2, we again offered a ButtLite progressive bonus. To the uninitiated, this type of bonus allows riders to claim points on every remaining leg of the rally, but only if the bonus is first earned on the current leg. Lest the keyboard jockeys accuse us of trying to trick our poor innocent participants with shady semantics or disingenuous directions, lets take a careful look at the actual wording of the bonus in question: Minneapolis, MN 333
points 8:30-11pm Tuesday Simple, eh? Go to Bob's, get the item (a spiffy cobalt blue latte mug sporting both ButtLite III and Bob's logos). If you can keep the mug unbroken and present it at the remaining checkpoints, by the end of the rally you will have 999 more points than everyone who blew off the bonus. As we stood in the parking lot of Moon Motors watching rider after rider head west on I-94 instead of east back to Minneapolis, I couldn't help but think of my earlier conversation with Vivian. Did the the westbound riders read their routesheets too quickly and figure the bonus was worth only 333 points? Did they forget the slim margins that have separated victory from defeat in previous ButtLites? Are they ready for another life lesson? Lets spell it out. Take a look at the top ten riders at the first checkpoint. Of those riders, only four--Bakker, Witte, Dunham and Sauter--made the short drive south to Bob's. We can a little finer point on the issue. Of the riders in the top five, only Todd Witte saw the key role the Bob's bonus will play on the rally. Failure to secure this bonus will cost more than one rider a trophy, and you can count on that. Speaking of Witte, our staffer manning the Bob's bonus described Rider 63 as "the most focused and intense person in the place." Todd pulled his FJR up to the curb in front of Bob's and left it running with the four ways flashing as he quickly walked in, grabbed the mug and left. On the way out he was heard to mutter, "Eight state capitals, 2600 miles..." If Witte was indeed considering the biggest bonus on Leg 2, worth a whopping 4,449 points, at least the first third of my next ride report will be easy to write. Turning our attention from the front to the back of the pack, we find three riders who were time barred in Monticello. Mike Etlicher, a fierce competitor heavily favored on the event by the ST1100 crowd, was plagued with fuel cell related problems on Leg One and could not make the first checkpoint in time. Mike limped his bike into Moon, where Dr. Earl worked his magic and effected a repair. At the time of this writing, Etlicher has 22.5 hours to travel approximately 1400 miles, a reachable goal for this multiple MN1K veteran, particularly west of the Mississippi. Assuming a timely arrival, Mike will no doubt be pleased by the point laden possibilities of Leg 3. Down but not out, indeed. Rocky Brown's K1200LT came down with transmission shift linkage problems in Selma, Alabama, the same place where Eddie's K bike dropped a drive shaft some time ago. Rocky scrambled to get his bike to the nearest BMW shop, where the required part was found to put the bike back into service. Rocky told me he had "every intention" of making the next checkpoint, and I don't doubt for a minute we'll see him there, ready and waiting for Leg 3. Ren Berggren is one of our veteran riders, having participated in every ButtLite to date. He's the kind of rider who brings a lot to the event--a sense of humor, a ready smile, and a joy for riding. Ren had trouble making Monticello, and this morning called to report his withdrawal from the event. Our sport needs more riders like Ren, who care more about the ride than seeing their name on the internet. Ren will be missed on the rest of the rally, and will always be welcome on future TeamStrange events. We've had our own travails in the rally van, including a disastrous attempt to upload yesterday's report at a Flying J truck stop in Billings, Montana. We blew needless time wrestling with archaic phone lines that provided connection speeds approaching 2400 baud, until my ever increasing blood pressure forced a strategic retreat to the Billings Kinkos for slightly more modern equipment. On BL5K, Eddie and I literally drove exit to exit across Illinois looking for a working telephone. Three years later, little has changed. I remain astounded at the horrendous state of the telephone infrastructure in rural America. In this day and age, its an absolute embarrassment. But enough of my troubles with the tin cans and string that pass for phones out here. Soon we'll be pulling into Post Falls, and at the current schedule, we may actually get more sleep than our riders for the first time in ButtLite history. We will celebrate this historic occasion by gifting the riders with the most challenging set of bonuses they will have seen to date. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. Today, riders are more concerned with Joseph Flintabbetey Flonatin, Tommy the Turtle, The Big Stack, and Mean Gene. What does it all mean? Check back tomorrow. Printable Version |
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