From: "Dirk Diggler" <askdirkdiggler@hotmail.com>
To: XXX@teamstrange.com
Cc: askdirkdiggler@hotmail.com
Date: 02 Sep 2002, 09:45:22 AM
Subject: Dirk mailbag update
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Hello again loyal followers.
Some of our home audience has things they wanna know. Like:
John Ryti (the penname of John The Bike Borrower) asks:
O Dirk of Diggler
Does Mr Outlaw really expect us to believe he really, truly "forgot" what day it was????? Or is this just a cheap excuse for him to get another Willism as a Rally Motto? I mean it really seems like a cry for help if ya ask me.
John "the bikeborrower" Ryti
Yo scooter-scammer,
Outlaw's an idiot. seriously. he said so himself. Look at his record of entering events--He doesn't know how to stop, he won't quit if it's raining or hot, he actually thinks he's having fun. Look where it gets him--top places in rallies, and now a guaranteed spot in the '03 IBR for winning the '01 Buckeye 1000. Great--he'll have stories to tell the other folks in the nursing home. It never ends.
You guys are all sick I tell you. sick. sick. sick.
Speaking of a cry for help, whose bike are you using in the next Minnesota 1000?
Not mine, I can assure you. I just polished the chrome.
Dazzling Dirk
Roxanne Lee wrote to ask:
"Where is John Laurenson?"
The short answer to this one Roxy: We don't know.
Here's some possibilities. Take your pick:
A) Falling asleep and crashing his bike (Like he did on the IronButt Rally).
B) Crashing again on another rally (Like he did on the BlackFly)
C) Going over again (as reported by other Midwest fest riders)
D) Wandering incoherently alongside the road unable to recognize event staff. (like on the '02 Rondezvous)
E) Riding to the point that he's borderline incoherent (ala the '98 TarButt)
Scenario I'd wager on:
Figuring out new names to call Eddy and Adam when they publicly point out that a rider like this should never be allowed in events again.
When you've got no defense, you can always call the other guy names. (worked for OJ, you
know--although I'd wager OJ had MUCH better advisors in the matter).
Thanks for asking Princess (hey! is that name calling also?!<grin>)
The Dirkerator
Mr Hi-Mile Dave Mishalof asks:
Dear Dirk,
Can you suggest a good de-caffeinated coffee for me? I've been a bit edgy
lately.
Hey Dave.
No way dude. All sports need someone to stand up and state an opposing
viewpoint.
It makes it fun. It keeps it exciting. It makes us all "tune in
tomorrow".
Less caffeine hell--shoot me your address pronto--I'll ship you a case of
Brainwash Soda (4X the caffeine of Jolt Cola!) right away. Then things
should REALLY get interesting.
Light fuse--get away indeed,
Dirk-o-matic
Rob " retro rider" Meblind quieried:
Dirk,
Todd Witte was recently offering his BLII spot for sale, given the >fact that
he no longer rides a Harley and is poised to win BLIII would this make a wise
purchase? Do these slots typically increase in value over time? Will it fit on a
shelf in my den? And last should it be kept away from children?
Thanks for your guidance;
Hello retro.
While the market on past bike rally slots has seen some wild fluctuations in the
post 9-11 markets, I'd still rate them a good buy. As with all spots, watch for
abnormal wear and tear, and with most of these guys, assume the mileage is lower
that what is actually claimed. For a really good example of that event, check
out Paul Pelland's spot. Due to his catastrophic bike problems, his spot was
barely used, I hear.
As with all flammable (or is that inflammable? I always get them confused), keep
out of reach of children.
Yours in the relentless pursuit of fossil-fuel usage,
Dirk
Kenneth Morton was able to paw out:
How many riders actually started? I count 74 or 73 ... but at
checkpoint one only 65 are accounted for. I know there is NO accounting
for some of these riders, butt .....Are Will Smith and Robert Wooldridge really
twins? Is it true that Todd Witt's bike is really a HD in FJR clothing?
Go Jim Winterer!
Hello Ken,
I believe 65 riders actually left the starting line. Many others (as well as
several of the TeamStrange staff) were unable to tear themselves away from the
Paradise on Earth called the Live Oak Resort. Smart money says they'll be there
upon our return tomorrow.
I don't know about the "twins" part, but they've each been referred
to as a "couple of [censored]".
While I'm not up on all the new bikes, I'll tell you what Todd's bike isn':
A) slow
B) being ridden by someone without a clue. Todd left Bakersfield with that quiet
determination you see in the eyes of someone you know is looking at one thing--a
top place finish. Bet against him at your peril.
Jim's still going--just not that quickly.
See y'all at the Live Oak for the finish,
Dirk
Write me back, yo! askdirkdiggler@hotmail.com
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