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September 2, 2002: Questions Answered For followers of ButtLite III, the sound of Grady Dunham's mug hitting the pavement outside Fred Cummings Honda/Suzuki in Bakersfield, California will forever be known as the crash heard round the world. While we suspected at the time that the dropped mug might impact the results, we had no idea that those shattered cobalt blue shards at lying at Rider 42's feet would cost Dunahm the first place trophy and a paid entry to the Ironbutt rally. Of course, at the time, not even Grady knew the true cost of the broken mug, though at least two riders had their suspicions. For Paul Pelland, Dunahm's loss was the great equalizer. Perhaps Paul's decision to forgo the Bob's bonus would not be fatal after all. For Todd Witte, the former latte mug of Grady Dunham was an unexpected ace in the hole. The only question for Todd was whether his own mug's 333 points would be offset to close the gap between him and the front of the field, and boost the FJR to the top of the heap. There is only one way to answer these questions: Go Ride. Many riders attach pictures or other mementos to their motorcycles, the better to remind themselves of friends and family at home. In fact, the ubiquitous Aerostich suit allows the attachment of a sleeve mounted map pouch, in which riders often place family photos. The photo on Howard Stueber's sleeve was particularly notable, starting with its caption, which described the picture as being of "my wife's pussy." Howard is an honest and decent man, so it should come as no surprise that the photo depicted the newest addition to the Stueber household--the cutest white kitten imaginable. Howard reported nothing but favorable comments on the photo, particularly from toll booth attendants, who were not shy about holding up traffic while attendants from neighboring booths were called over to admire baby. Fergus Hand used the time between California and Texas for more creative pursuits. I ran into Fergus in the parking lot of our motel Monday morning, and asked him how his trip had been. "I made up a song about you," he told me. "'I hate you Rallymasters, shove this routesheet up your arse,'is the chorus." I'm sure that with the right tune he'd have a hit, at least with some of the riders on this rally. The minivan made the trip in uneventful fashion. Any crises were dealt with either by turning up the airconditioning or lying down on the mattress in the back. Even the cell phone was quiet, at least until the call from Bob Waitz came through. Bob, you will recall, staffed the Cassoday bonus for us while wearing a kilt. In the four hours the bonus was available, only two riders arrived: Bob Lyskowski and Todd Witte. This bit of information rocked our world to the extent that we had to pull over and consider the possibilities. Fortunately for us, we were close to Llano, Texas, home of the justly famous Coopers' BBQ. Over brisket, smoked sausage and pork, we sat with routesheets and calculators in hand. We already knew that Pelland had decided against Mazatlan and Cassoday, opting instead for a more conservative strategy. The route chosen by Todd (12th in Bakersfield) and Bob (8th in Bakersfield) could conceivably jump them right to the top, if they ran it exactly right and if Dunahm were a bit complacent. As the results came in at the scoring table, questions turned into answers. Will Outlaw leaned that while all prayers are answered, the answer is not always what we expect. Though he prayed for anything but, the good Lord and some hard riding resulted in a top ten finish for the personable rider from St. Paul. Eric Jewell's long anticipated leap for first place via Kansas or Mexico never materialized, though Eric could certainly be pleased with a solid 7th place finish. Rick Miller ran a smart, strong rally from beginning to end, steadily climbing in the standings as the event progressed. Rick rode the most efficient rally of the field, and his 3.31 points per mile were good for a fifth place trophy. Bob Lyskowski, known to the rest of the field as "Bob WHO?," showed what we knew all along: talk is cheap, results count, and if you shut up and ride you will do well on this event. Congratulations on your fourth place trophy, Bob. Where to start with Paul Pelland? Here's a guy who has forgotten more jokes and wisecracks then you've ever heard. He's a practical joker and a smartass, and this writer's best source of material on the event. I could have written every single report about Paul's antics, and still had enough material left over for a full length book. But behind all that ticks a crafty New England mind capable of putting the TeamStrange puzzle together in profitable ways. We have long suspected that the combination of Pelland and a modern motorcycle would be hazardous to the competition. We now further suspect that a third place ButtLite trophy is just the beginning. So, we're back to the final mystery: Dunham or Witte? Dunham rode a great event, on a bike many would claim unsuitable for the task. In the end, though, all of these things left him just 255 points short of the goal. Grady Dunham, ever the gracious competitor, accepted his second place trophy with a smile and a hearty handshake. Perhaps he was thinking about the future. After all, Dunahm's finishing position entitled him to a pass the draw spot in the '03 Ironbutt. Many Ironbutt riders, including '01 winner Bob Hall, came to the event via the ButtLite. We have no question that Mr. Dunham's trip to the podium in Texas will not be his last. That leaves Todd Witte. Todd put together a picture perfect run on leg four, on which he grabbed the big bonus in Cassoday and nearly every other available bonus besides. Witte ran strong on Leg One, flirted with disaster on Leg 2, recovered therefrom on Leg 3 and made his statement on Leg 4, giving up few points at the scoring table along the way. In every way possible, Witte truly deserves the first place trophy, and the paid entry to the Ironbutt that comes along with it. Please join TeamStrange in congratulating Todd Witte on his ButtLite victory. Printable Version Have a ride report of your own? Are you a spectator with a story about ButtLite and its riders? Let us know! |
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