News and Views from Rallymaster Adam Wolkoff
June 29, 2000
"Are you nervous yet?"
In the week before a rally, Eddie and I talk by phone several million times per day. In every one of those conversations, I am asked at least once, "Are you nervous yet?" Usually the question is followed by a hysterical cackling laugh. The fact that it is asked of me at all tells the knowledgeable reader that some things are definitely up with the Minnesota 2000 this year.
The first thing that is definitely up is that Eddie has been a master of calm all week. Usually the Most Reverend James is climbing the walls at this point, a real stark-raving Rallymaster. The New Eddie is not only calm, he seems to grow even calmer and more peaceful with every repetition of the dreaded inquiry. My own theory is that, perhaps relying on methods used in old Star Trek reruns, Eddie has figured out a way to transfer his tension to me. All the same, I'm glad the rally will soon be under way. One more week of "Are you nervous yet?" and I'd be ready for a drool bib.
What is also up this year is the quality of the event. I have long believed that setting up routes and bonuses is much more art than science. Eddie has been putting his Zen-like calm to work, and as a result we have the most interesting, challenging and humorous bonuses in the history of this storied event. This is a strange and beautiful country, of which our riders will have the opportunity to see a good bit. As always, reading comprehension and intelligent routing are rewarded.
We've done some tinkering with class assignments. The real fun class to watch has to be Roadwarriors, which includes ALL bikes under 750cc. These guys will earn their title on a 48 hour event...
We are also excited about the way rally information and results will be communicated. Visitors to the TeamStrange web site will be able to view and sort rally results in numerous ways. Want to know how the forty year old ST1100 riders from Iowa did on the rally? Thanks to Vector Internet Services, you can now find out.
Some things never change. Warner Powersports, Bob's Java Hut and Trackstar will insure our riders are well taken care of before, during and after the rally. Pounds of pigs have selflessly given their lives so that we may smoke and eat them. An army of crack volunteers stands ready to make everything happen. Most importantly, a fantastic field of riders is ready to take the course for what promises to be an amazing rally.
Your mission is simple: keep your eyes peeled for further updates from TeamStrange as the rally progresses, and if you see one of our riders, make sure you ask:
"Are you nervous yet?"
June 30, 2000
That sound you hear coming from Minnesota is the sound of MN2K riders scratching their heads after being handed three bonus sheets at this evening's Liar's Banquet. As promised, this year's routing choices proved to be interesting. Because it's late, and there is a ton of stuff still to do tonight, and because we need to be at Bob's around 0530, I'll simply share with you a short smattering of some of the bonuses our riders are playing with.
Tonight, the riders were given three route sheets. The first is entitled "Minnesota 2000" and consists of 17 locations principally within the state of Minnesota. This route sheet is known as the "A" Route. Why is Fargo, ND on the A Route? Hey, its a TeamStrange event. Even stranger, compare Angle Inlet with International Falls. The former is the northernmost town in Minnesota, can only be reached by traveling through Canada, and is worth a whopping 6 points. The latter, while still quite far north, is easily accessible and worth a whopping 1539 points. What to make of the discrepancy? Typo? Hidden message? Strong warning? Time will certainly tell.
The "B" Route bears the title "Beast in the East" and comprises 40 locations lying generally east of Minnesota. IBET riders will be interested the post office in Nashville, MO is worth 2,418 points, and comes with the bonus instruction "...yes it is so there, so look again." Lowest points on the route are for East St. Louis, worth negative 265 points. Those wishing a true East Coast experience are tempted to visit the Montauk Point Lighthouse on Long Island, and earn 9,890 points in the process. My favorite has to be "Snake Alley," called the twistiest street in America. A visit to this street, located in Burlington, Iowa pays 1,826 points.
The "C" Route is called Colossal Creatures and Courses, and comprises 76 locations lying mostly west of Minnesota. As you might imagine, some of your favorite giant animals are bonus paying locations. Riders will have a chance to meet or get reacquainted with Albert the Bull (Audubon, IA), Salem Sue (New Salem, ND), Paul Bunyan (Brainerd, MN), Chatty Belle (Neillsville, WI), two gigantic prairie dogs (Interior, SD and Oakley, KS) among others. Also featured are such diverse attractions as all three of the worlds largest balls of twine, and the oh-so-cute fainting goats of Plentywood, MT (worth every bit of 1994 points).
Just to liven things up a bit, riders were advised that they could choose any bonuses off of Route A, plus bonuses off of Route B OR Route C. Many riders asked whether we would further confuse the issue by handing out additional route sheets tomorrow. We told them the answer was a definite maybe, and that they would find out tomorrow.
And so will you.
July 1, 2000
Bright and early this morning, the TeamStrange staff assembled at Bob's Java Hut to prepare for the 0800 departure time eagerly awaited by all nearly all participants. The possible exception to the mood of universal joy shared by the riders as they reviewed their bonuses could be found in the person of L.C. "Bubba" Kolb, of Paduccah Kentucky. Bubba (the first individual ever holding that moniker to compete in a TeamStrange event) left an anonymous phone message for the Rallymasters last night, calling us "cruel," "inhuman," and a variety of other less printable epithets. Bubba's plan to remain anonymous backfired, however, as his particular vernacular (read: southern) made his ravings instantly identifiable even to the sleep-deprived Rallymasters. Bubba, next time you plan to make a prank phone call, have someone else do the talking.
As many feared, riders were greeted this morning with another route sheet, the "Minnesota 1000 Bonus Bonuses." Many of the bonuses on this sheet offered additional points for combining bonuses listed on the previously distributed materials. For example, completing all bonuses on Route A (the all-Minnesota route sheet) would net the rider an additional 11,116 points. Grabbing all three balls of twine would earn an additional bonus (helpfully nicknamed "Big Balls") of over 5,000 points. Visiting the various motorcycle manufacturing plants listed would earn a rider the "Hog Wild" bonus paying 17,777 points. Other bonuses were offered for having breakfast with the Thin Air TT rallymasters in Colorado, or with Minneapolis City Councilmember Lisa McDonald.
Our intent was to throw a massive curve at anyone who had committed to a route the previous evening. Last night, who would want to go to Angle Inlet and earn a measly 6 points? Today, that 6 points was the key to a huge point payoff. Early this morning, I predicted riders would look over the new bonus sheet, and immediately flop to the ground, furiously recalculating their previously planned route. Instead, I was absolutely floored to see riders hardly glance at the new route sheet before picking up their rally flag and hitting the road. I can only hope that these riders were off to find a quiet place to think. Any rider who fails to consider and take advantage of the new bonuses would be at the mercy of those who remembered the first rule of Endurance Riding: Its All About Reading Comprehension.
Some riders did take the time to consider their new options. Will Outlaw, Rider 245, immediately latched upon the All Minnesota route, excited by the opportunity to spend the Minnesota 2000 almost entirely in Minnesota. Jay Golden, Rider 8, decided he would clean up Minnesota AND grab a hefty bonus "right in the neighborhood" at Niobrara, Nebraska. Jay may have missed Rev. Eddie's "Greed is a deadly sin" sermon, we won't know for sure until Monday.
Niobrara played a prominent role in Eddie's day. You may recognize the town as the home of famed endurance riding pioneer Danny Liska. Though Danny has passed away, his wife still resides there, and some of our riders were fortunate enough to meet this vivacious lady. Sev and Eddie rode down to visit the bonus, and were also able to make Mrs. Liska's acquaintance. Sev reported that Eddie is still floating some feet off the ground after meeting someone so close to one of his personal heroes. Over fifteen riders had visited Niobrara by the time Sev and Eddie pulled in, so the C route is obviously getting some attention.
The other bonus getting attention was Gillam, Manitoba. If you want to find a town in the middle of nowhere, pull out your map and locate Gillam. Its about 450 miles north and east of Winnipeg-if you are a crow. Gillam is the only bonus on this rally that has not yet been personally visited by the rallymasters, though Eddie plans to get up there in a couple of weeks. Riders are advised that little is known about the town or locale. Gillam pays ridiculous points, 12,792 of them to be exact. Yet to earn these points, riders will have to traverse miles of gravel roads in unknown condition, risk questionable fuel availability after dark, and face the usual hoard of motorcycle-loving deer, moose, polar bear and the like. To me, Gillam looks like a sucker's bet. To a number of riders (including Tim Foreman, Charles Robinson, Dick Fish and Jac Kelvie), Gillam looks like the first place trophy. Monday will tell who called this one right.
Tomorrow will see the riders crossing the 24 hour mark. For many participants, this will be the first time they have competed in a rally longer than one full day. Tomorrow will be gut check time for a lot of people. The riders who can put their heads down and stick to their plan (or assemble a new one from the ashes of yesterday's mistakes) will be very happy on Monday.
July 2, 2000
There are just over 24 hours remaining until the end of the Minnesota 2000, and the plus sized gal is warming up her vocal cords. How's the field shaping up? Who's leading the pack? Did anyone enjoy a visit to lovely Long Island?
I have absolutely no idea.
What's more, there is a lot of time left in this rally. While some riders are no doubt remembering the good old days when rallies ended after 24 hours as God intended, others will use the remaining time to keep racking up those bonus points. Rather than speculate on what might be going on out on the course, I'll fill you in on some things of which I am pretty darn sure.
The bulk of the field headed east. The "D" route distributed Saturday morning contained bonuses for three breakfasts. The first was with Bob Norton, Brian Boberick and Bill Gillespie, rallymasters of the Thin Air TT, at Johnny's Restaurant in Aurora, Colorado. The second was at the home of Lisa McDonald here in Minneapolis. The third was with the assembled members of the Buckeye Beemers in Ohio. If you were in the west, there was no good reason for you to pass on breakfast in Aurora. Even so, Gillespie and crew drew two riders. If you are playing along at home, though, remember the two who did show for breakfast at Johnny's: Bob Johnson and Marty Leir. There were some big points available out west, and these two are smart enough to figure out where those points were.
Mr. Leir deserves further comment: this individual is running the rally on a Ducati 748. If anyone can think of a less comfortable mount on which to ride this event, they certainly have one up on me. Nevertheless, it was reported that Marty took a few hours rest in Estes Park and looked very fresh. We also understand that he may have acquired a large sheepskin to help ease the passing miles. At this point, Marty and Bob can certainly be considered Serious Contenders.
Gillam is a bitch. Details are very sketchy from north of the border. The rumor mill would have us believe that five riders attempted the ride to Gillam, which no doubt included substantial miles on the fine gravel roads of our neighbor to the north. Three riders did not make it. Mark Messer and Leon Begeman did.
Of course making Gillam is only half the battle. Once you've arrived and figured out some way to prove you were there, you still have to come home. And of course, the route you choose to get there and back will make all the difference in how good you feel about your trip. Put simply (and without giving away too much in these waning hours), riders who decided to hit Flin Flon, Manitoba on the way to Gillam are not going to be as happy as those who decided to hit it on the way home. If Leon and Mark made the right route choices, they could be very, very happy tomorrow afternoon.
Something must be done about Bubba and the telephone. Bubba has been burning up the phone lines over the course of the last 24 hours, usually just to share a few friendly greetings. Take, for example, the message I retrieved at 0618 this morning. "I hate you," said the thick drawl emanating from the receiver in my hand, "you and that other smiling bastard, I hate you both." After some additional curses of the miscellaneous variety, he hung up. I assume Bubba was expressing his pleasure at the challenging nature of our entertaining route sheets. This is the same rider that called my sister on Thursday night, and called Warner's on Friday with a request that we change the color of the rally shirts to something more appropriate.
Before you get too down on our rider from Paduccah, I am sure that the only people who find Bubba's calls more amusing than him are the rallymasters. In person, Mr. L.C. Kolb is a true gentleman, and funny as hell to boot. What's more, I suspect that Bubba might be sandbagging his northern friends a bit, and that he's doing a bit better job at bagging bonuses than he lets on. At the same time, I am equally sure that we will assign Bubba his own voicemail box for the ButtLite, if only to keep the line clear for other riders.
Our sponsors and volunteers go the extra mile for our riders. Here's one great example. This morning, a rider limped into breakfast at Lisa's with a defective tire on his Royal Star. The rider could not continue on the bad tire, and was ready to pack it in when John Ryti, a volunteer, heard about the situation. John immediately got on the phone to Trackstar. The shop had the right size tire in stock, and began making arrangements to clear a service bay for the bike. In order to expedite things, John led the rider to the shop, where he personally changed the tire and got the rider back on the road. The rider, grateful for John's assistance, offered some money. John refused.
John is a racer. The money offered would have helped pay for John's track time, or diesel to get him to the track on race day. Yet he refused any payment, because he did not feel right about taking money from a fellow rider in need of help. As he left Lisa's, John told me "I'll fix stuff all day...if they want to ride, I'll keep 'em on the road." John and Trackstar Motorsports again demonstrated the tremendous asset we have in our volunteers and sponsoring dealers.
A disturbing pattern is developing. Tim Foreman recently purchased Eddie's old K11RS. Just days before the rally, Tim made the mistake of washing the bike. Within miles, the driveshaft failed. Only with the assistance of fellow rider Charles Robinson was the bike ready to ride in the rally.
Howard Stueber recently purchased Eddie's old K1, and lent it to fellow rider Keith Boetcher to ride in the event. Early this morning, south of Waco, Texas, the driveshaft failed. While we are unable to confirm whether Keith or Howie washed the bike immediately prior to the failure, riders of bikes formerly belonging to Eddie James are advised to refrain from cleaning their bike in any way pending further investigation.
Where is Melody Albers? Beats me, but everyone wants to know. My guess? Melody figured out the "Three Flags" bonus, and is visiting Laredo, Texas (7011 points) and I-29 and the Canadian Border (989 points). If she hits both, she will earn an additional 12,345 points for the effort, which with gas receipts and the state capital bonus (three capitals of states that do not border states that border Minnesota, 4311 points) certainly would make her a serious contender. If the stars were in alignment, Mel would also be on track to rack up 5,000 miles in three Minnesota 1000s.
What now? Riders will be allowed to check in at Trackstar beginning at 0900. The penalty window opens at 1200. Riders who don't make it in by 1400 are time barred. There are just over 24 hours remaining until the end of the Minnesota 2000, and the plus sized gal is warming up her vocal cords. I can't wait to hear what song she sings.
July 3, 2000
Today we heard lots of stories, funny, sad and true. We took a few photos, had some laughs and swore a lot. Within the next few days, we'll share with you our thoughts, stories and pictures. But tonight, TeamStrange would prefer that you focus your attention solely on the riders who participated in this year's rally, without whom none of those things would matter. In particular, we would like to specifically recognize class winners as follows.
Sport
- James Larsen
- Anthony Roy, Tony Marx (tie)
- Bill Powers
- Kevin Staples
- Kurt Henning
Two Up
- Bill and Judy Kramer
- Bill Ager/Shannon Bruns
- Scott and Brenda Carlson
Sport Touring
- Tim Wise
- Kevin Kocur
- Chuck Banks
- Kevin Wynn
- James Kabisch
Touring
- Ken Leffler
- Richard Henrion
- Jeff Hause
- Martin Aronow
- Ron Personius
Road Warrior
- Bill Bruhn
- Pat O’Keefe
- Jim Winterer
- Sean Kirschenmann
- Marty Leir
Standard
- Dave Long
- Steffan Fay
- Jim Simonet
- Dean Cross
- John Carlson
First Overall
Nels Gebben
Expert
- Mark Kiecker
- Bart Bakker
- Todd Witte
- Brent Bruns
- Bubba Kolb
We would also recognize the many volunteers who have helped with the rally. We literally could not put on this event without volunteer support. Your author would particularly like to recognize the scoring team, who preformed at or beyond the levels of ordinary human endurance. Any compliments with respect to scoring are owed to the volunteers; I will accept responsibility for any other sentiment.
Please join me in congratulating the winners of the first ever Minnesota 2000.
Aftermath
I feel like the guy who is supposed to sing after the fat lady is done. Its a hard act to follow. Even a casual perusal of the rally results will reveal a field composed of resourceful, creative and just plain tough riders.
As always, some riders faced unforeseen problems. Take the bonus requiring a photograph of "the bovine." One rider (who shall remain nameless) wasn't quite sure what a bovine was, but apparently figured the answer would present itself upon arrival. After arriving and looking around, he didn't see anything remotely resembling the mysterious bonus, so he rang the doorbell of a nearby house to seek assistance. When he asked for the "buh-veen," he was met with blank stares. Only after he showed his paperwork did the homeowner disclose that "bovine" meant "cow." We can only assume that a dictionary will be added to this rider's tank bag in time for next year's event.
Will Outlaw spent a long time unsuccessfully looking for the bonus at Dunnell, Minnesota. He apparently didn't believe Eddie and I when we told him there really was a historical marker there. Consequently, the day after the rally ended, will got back on his R11GS and headed for Dunnell. After locating the marker and photographing it (did no one tell this man the rally was over?) Will's GS took a tumble. Will claims he will never visit Dunnell again. We don't have the heart to tell him the town is sure to be a big point bonus on the ButtLite...
Other riders overcame problems to good results. In Expert class, we saw a battle for supremacy between BL5K veterans Mark Kiecker and Nels Gebben. Some may recall that Kiecker was poised to rocket into first place on the last leg of the ButtLite when he lost his paperwork somewhere in Toronto. Mark managed to keep track of his route sheets this time, and turned in one hell of a ride.
Gebben made a name for himself at the ButtLite's Mother Cabrini bonus. To make a long story short, there were a whole lot of nuns looking to wash Nels' mouth out with soap by the time he pulled out of there. Gebben must have made his peace with God, though, because he turned in a ride as stellar as Kiecker's, leaving the two with a tie for total points. In this rally, though, efficiency trumps points. Gebben rode 105 miles less than Kiecker, breaking the tie for first overall. Kiecker contented himself with first place Expert, and is surely positioned for more Good Things on the upcoming ButtLite 2.
Speaking of BL2, you might be interested to learn that six of the top eight Expert class riders are also entered in the ButtLite. Early handicappers of that rally would do well to note the names Bakker, Witte, Kolb and Ellars when it comes time to make your predictions.
In Two Up, Bill and Judy Kramer absolutely stormed to a first place finish, beating the second place team by over 15,000 points. I personally believe that Two Up is the most difficult class in the whole rally. A motorcycle can get to be an awfully small place on an endurance event. Pressures of time and competition shorten nerves and affect concentration, and these pressures can only be multiplied when there are two riders occupying the same bike. Bill and Judy obviously managed to work through those problems in style: their score put them in sixth place overall.
Sport class rider James Larson's ride was also a model of efficiency. Larson racked up 30,003 points over 2,051 miles. Second place rider Anthony Roy, by comparison, rode 205 miles farther and earned over 10,000 fewer points. When people ask me how to do well on these events, I always tell them to ride smart: pick a route that pays the highest possible points for every mile ridden. I now have an example with which to illustrate my theory. So do you. His name is Larson.
Though he did not win his class, Tony Roy demonstrated a quality held by only the best long distance riders, that of perseverance. Before the rally was half completed, Roy's bike developed a severe fuel leak of mysterious origin. In addition, the hot weather took a severe toll on his rear tire, which had essentially been ridden off the bike by the time Roy reached the Lisa McDonald breakfast bonus at the rally's midpoint. Lesser riders would have given up and headed for home. Tony used his time at Lisa's to find and fix the fuel leak, then headed to Trackstar for a new tire. Roy's ride perfectly proves why every skilled endurance rider lives by the motto "Never Say Die."
Tim Wise took home the gold in Sport Touring, again relying on routing efficiency to carry the day. Tim went to such amusing places as Hell, Michigan and the AMA Museum in Pickerington, Ohio, while also finding time to enjoy a tasty burrito ("big as your head") at El Famous in Summit, Illinois. For his trouble, he took home a very attractive first place finisher's trophy.
Compare Wise's ride to that of Keith Collins, the last place rider. Keith earned 11,557 points over 2,389 miles, and gets to spend the ButtLite driving Eddie and I across the country in this year's version of the supercharged Buick Ultra. We will leave it to you to decide who was the true "winner" of this class.
The most challenging class of all in this 48 hour event was undoubtedly Road Warrior. These riders chose to ride the toughest two day rally ever on bikes smaller than 750cc. Third place finisher Jim Winterer spent his time with TeamStrange on an elderly Yamaha SR500. Second place rider Pat O'Keefe proved me wrong about Gillam, Manitoba. He succeeded where others failed, conquering the treacherous road to the town at the end of the road on his BMW F650.
Again, though, Bill Bruhn illustrated the value of efficient routing. While piloting his Honda CBR 600 F3 to the winners circle, he earned over 12 points per mile and found time to capitalize on his three rest bonuses (worth nearly three thousand points--who thought sleep could be so profitable?) . As a class winner, Bill will be promoted to Expert next year. His ride more than proves he's ready for the challenge.
I can't leave Road Warrior without mentioning Marty Leir. Those of you who have been following along already know about Marty, and the difficult western route he chose. When Marty pulled into the finish, spectators gathered around his bright yellow Ducati 748, marveling at its modifications, which numbered exactly two: a cigarette lighter, and a sheepskin acquired en route, now tucked over the seat. Among the observers was the family of Neil Herdina, whose untimely death shortly proceeded the rally.
The Herdina family was on hand to present an award named after Neil, to honor the rider who most creatively modified and rode their motorcycle on the Minnesota 2000. Neil took pride in riding our event on a Yamaha V-Max, which is not considered a stalwart endurance mount. Neil's clever modifications, along with his spirit of fun and adventure, made sure that the V-Max and its rider were always in the hunt. The Herdina family quite properly concluded that the 748 was not a typical rally bike, and that its modifications, though minimal, truly expressed the spirit of a dedicated, enthusiastic rider. We congratulate Marty for winning the first ever Neil Herdina Award, and thank the Herdina family for this opportunity to remember the unique rider for which the award is named.
Is there anyone who still believes that the key to these events is a brand new bike, brimming with fuel cell, GPS, laptop, three radar detectors and a pair of fuzzy dice? If you think gadgetry and gimcracks are the keys to the winner's circle, you'd better talk to Ken Leffler, who took home first place in Touring. Ken ran a great route, enjoyed a tasty burrito ("as big as your head"), and took home the hardware, all while astride his trusty BMW R80. It truly is the rider, people.
A similar story is found in the success of Standard class winner Dave Long. Dave pointed his unfaired Honda CB1000F to some of the more challenging bonuses on the B Route, including the dreaded State Capital Bonus (receipts from three state capitals of states do not border states that border Minnesota--got it?). In the process, he rolled up an impressive 2,599 corrected miles and over 32,000 points. Still not impressed? Consider that Dave's ride earned him eighth place overall, ahead of some very expensive, elaborately prepared endurance machinery.
I cannot conclude this report without thanking our volunteers, who put in long, anonymous hours to see this event to a successful conclusion. I would like to personally recognize the scoring team. Victor, Tammy, Liz, Jon and Chuck put their brains and backsides to work in order to see that the event was scored correctly. Thanks also go out to Al Angen of Vector Internet, who came up with the idea for our searchable scoring database, entered every rider's score into the database, then made sure that information was available for you to view on the web.
Finally, TeamStrange would like to thank the riders on this first ever Minnesota 2000. Without riders, there is no Minnesota 2000 and there is no TeamStrange. You all managed to rack up 225,735 miles in this event. It is our hope that at least some of those miles were challenging, entertaining and enjoyable.